I hate myself.

All I’ve felt recently is pain. There is no silver lining, no “it gets better”, nothing.

I have no one to live for; no one who will check up on me in times of need. Absolutely no-one.

There’s so many expectations. The pressure is close to killing me. I want it to. Fingers closing around my throat, crushing my trachea, cutting off my air-supply, finally ending this pain. It’d be a breathtakingly wonderful end. All I need; all I deserve.

I have no obligation to stay alive. My friends are tired of my constant worry, and so is my family. I have nothing to offer anyone, I’m of no value, and I’m completely screwed.

Not caring, for just a second, would be wonderful.

There’s so many options I could choose from, but I want to make sure that classes are still available before I decide on what to do. It’s hard as fuck to just sit around and study; it’s annoying and unsatisfying.

I’ve pretty much lost the will to live. Nothing to look forward to and nothing to work towards, honestly.

Still not sure if these meds are working.