I hate myself.

All I’ve felt recently is pain. There is no silver lining, no “it gets better”, nothing.

I have no one to live for; no one who will check up on me in times of need. Absolutely no-one.

There’s so many expectations. The pressure is close to killing me. I want it to. Fingers closing around my throat, crushing my trachea, cutting off my air-supply, finally ending this pain. It’d be a breathtakingly wonderful end. All I need; all I deserve.

I have no obligation to stay alive. My friends are tired of my constant worry, and so is my family. I have nothing to offer anyone, I’m of no value, and I’m completely screwed.

Not caring, for just a second, would be wonderful.

There’s so many options I could choose from, but I want to make sure that classes are still available before I decide on what to do. It’s hard as fuck to just sit around and study; it’s annoying and unsatisfying.

I’ve pretty much lost the will to live. Nothing to look forward to and nothing to work towards, honestly.

Still not sure if these meds are working.

It’s one of those “I feel helpless and terrible” times again!

I feel as though I’m making progress, but I don’t believe I have the writing capability to get through the essay and EPs.

Wanting to go to community college is something I wish to strive for; although, at this moment it’s hardly a possibility.

Please, please no remedial classes.